The Black Liquid Mistakes Journal - Entry #3

Entry #3 - "It's not a Journal, it's Digiorno"
12-31-05

This is (was) 2005. I still can't believe people tolerate shitty frozen food. Next time you're eating a frozen food product, really ASK yourself, "Is this a ham & cheese breakfast sandwhich enclosed in a flaky crust?" Moments later, you'll realize what you're eating tastes like 13 day old meatloaf mixed with freshly picked garbanzo and kidney beans. Oh - and its still frozen in the middle. Don't you think we're at the point where we don't consume "chicken tenders" that taste like luke-warm redwood bark? Finally, my new years resolution is to make sure all TV Dinner Makin mofos New Years Resolutions are to "Not make and/or distribute crappy frozen foods".

The Black Liquid Mistakes Journal - Entry #2

Entry #2: "Vermont & New Hampshire"

12-29-05

Do we even care what happens in these states? Honestly. These 2 regions should just join together. The following is a list of suggested names for the upcoming merger: Vershire, New Mont, Mont Hamp, Shampoo, Old Vertmon, New Schmelmont, Hampver, and finally, Dopplestonmontire. Think. When word got out about the states joining forces, our economy would get a guaranteed boost. Why? Because people don't even know that Vermont & New Hampshire exist right NOW. Citizens may believe we acquired land from Canada. That would not be a good thing.

The Black Liquid Mistakes Journal - An explanation, and Entry #1

Back with the original Boone Court Boys, I decided to 'write in a journal' as my new years resolution for 2006. I found this small gray 6"x4" 'assignment book' to write a few random thoughts in. I titled this book The Black Liquid Mistakes Journal. This didn't really catch on with me, as I only wrote in it 3 times in late 2005, and used it once again to write down 'The Cincinnati Affair' in July 2006. Either way, I found this notebook in one of the many drawers in my room, and for your pleasure, will post all four entries, successively, in their entirety (with short explanations, if needed). Without further ado...

Entry #1: "Shaving"

12-29-05

When Adam Nisler shaves - his face becomes a bloody, porous mess. I believe that if a scientist put his chin under a microscope - it would resemble a horror movie set. Magnified, his cheeks would strangely look like stalagmites or stalagtites (whichever ones hang down from the ceiling).

If you're going to learn any lesson from story, it's that if you regularly practice Tae-Kwon-Do - your skin is goin to be more sensitive than a small boy's asshole after Priest Penetratio is finished with him. I would love to see Mr. Nisler was the corners of his mouth. That would be a special occasion.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are Obsessed with California

Whether you like them or not, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have been one of the most influential rock bands of the last 20 years. They've transgressed genres of punk, funk, metal, and dare I say - hip-hop. Sure, some of their songs make no sense. Sure, the radio overplays most of their new singles. Sure, most people have no idea what Anthony Keidis' tattoos mean, or what exactly Flea did to get a role in The Big Lebowski. But here's one thing I do know about the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are Obsessed with California

Let's go on a lyrical adventure, shall we?

From "Californication":
...And if you want these kind of dreams/It's Californication
...First born unicorn/Hard core soft porn/Dream of Californication/Dream of Californication

You get the idea. The made up word "Californication" surfaces a total of 11 times in that song. Let's continue.

From "Around the World":
...I try not to whine/But, I must warn ya/bout the girls from California

From "Dani California":
Chorus: California rest in peace/Simultaneous release/California show your teeth/She's my priestess, I'm your priest/Yeah, yeah

Come ON. California is in the fricking title. Dani California is probably some two timin hooker that one of the band members hooked up with and now has a raging case of herpegonhasyphillaids.

From "Parallel Universe":
Chorus: Christ I’m a sidewinder/ I’m a California King /I swear it’s everywhere /It’s everything

Apparently they're from California. I did my research. I love Wisconsin & all, but if I had a band, I probably wouldnt sing about our Dairy state in every song. (Well....) The sad thing is, I bet theres more RHCP that have some reference to Cali in it. Even after hearing all these west-coast Cali homage anthems, I still have very little desire to even step foot in the state. Its chillin on a fault, so one day it's just going to break off and float into the Pacific. I'm guessing theres a Utah-sized hole in the ozone layer above Los Angeles that stretches into Southern San Diego. Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor. Let me repeat that - Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor. San Francisco is the gay mecca of America. Every year, some crazyass brush fire extends into Arizona or some other state and wipes out an endagered fern that was supposed to cure cancer. You know where that crazyass brush fire started? California.

Take a look at WI has compared to what CA has:

Wisconsin has: Beer, Cheese, Milwaukee, Madison, Stoughton, Beer, Bo Ryan, Drumlins, Eskers,
Beer, Friday Fish Fry, 'Bratwurst', Badger Football, Basketball, and Hockey,
Seasons, Harley Davidson Co, Culvers, and Beer.

California has: Unstable tectonic plates, no ozone layer, a mountain of gays, and brush fires that
kill plantlife that could cure humans of cancer.

Rock on Red Hot Chili Peppers!

Bill Belichick is homeless

It's true.

In my opinion, as an NFL coach, your duty is to present yourself so. Bill Belichick looks like he spent 83 consecutive days in the gutter on a street corner somewhere in metro New Jersey. He looks disgusting. What kind of coach wears a raggedy 3/4 cut sleeve hooded sweatshirt to sport on the sidelines? Bill Belichick. I have a strong feeling that if you met the head Patriot face to face, he would smell like cheap Mr. Boston rum and Parliament cigarettes. Why Pars' - cuz they're cheap. Cheap like Bill Belichick. I'd go as far to say that he doesnt even own a suit. Even if he did... where would he put it? He's fuckin homeless, remember.

(Above) Members of the media wondering who the beggar by the microphone is.

Bill Belichick's sideline attire was the inspiration behind Mugatu's 'DERELICTE' clothing line in the recent movie ZOOLANDER. It's true - google that shit.

I'd really like to know how he thinks he can pull this off. Most NFL coaches wear the Team Nylon Jacket, the Huge puffy winter coat, or when its warm - usually the team polo. I don't even think Bill knows what the word 'polo' means. There's no excuse for not looking somewhat decent on the sidelines. I know it doesn't matter in the long run, cuz I'm sure the guy is a good coach. But, given his salary you'd think he'd be able to afford a few overcoats. According to reporter Eric McHugh of The Patriot Ledger:

"Maybe he wants more money. Last month, Forbes pegged Belichick’s average annual salary over his seven years with the Patriots at $2.8 million. According to the magazine’s calculations, that would put him below the $3 million-$4 million range of Tony Dungy, John Fox, Mike Shanahan, Bill Cowher, Parcells and Coughlin."

(Right) A still-hammered Belichick wanders to the next waterboy to ask for spare change.

MORE MONEY? You kidding me? All previously mentioned coaches at least look respectable on the sidelines. To the Pat's front office - I say HOLD OUT! Don't give him an extra dime till he starts looking like a dignified human being. Unfortunately for me, team owners pay coaches based on wins. And the Patriots have just beat the Chargers in San Diego.

You gotta wonder what HE thinks of his appearance. I'm guessing no one has ever brought this up to him face-to-face. And if someone did - he would probably respond with 'Who cares. I'm the coach'. Or 'They pay me to coach, not to dress nice.' Or the more likely response of 'Hey asshole, got a light?' Touche Bill, touche.

If you think I'm being too hard on Bill...go ahead and tell me. I can't think of another prime coach in ANY high status league that looks like a slob. Sure Andy Reid is fat - but at least he covers it up by wearing the team jacket. The NBA is currently in shambles, yet the coaches still look decent. I'd go as far as saying that Bill Belichick looks worse than the thug NBA gangsters did sporting their do-rags and chains before David Stern layed the hammer down.

I hate the Patriots. I hate Bill Belichick. And I'm not a fan of the homeless.

(Above) The Duke of disgusting takes a shower. (The most recent

one, documented February 7, 2005)

Communication Department Copes with Staff Departures

The communication department at UW-Whitewater is missing some familiar faces entering the 2006-2007 academic year. Professors Bill Cassidy, Leo Chan, and Gay Davidson-Zielske all left to pursue careers elsewhere. Department chair Bill Weiss and his wife, Dotte (the communication computer aide) retired last year. The year before, lecturer Norma Coates departed as well. Rae Miller also left as Royal Purple adviser a couple years before that.
"It's unfortunate that we can't hang on to them," newly appointed assistant chair John Luecke stated. "Better opportunities, along with lighter teaching loads, are compelling professors to go elsewhere. UW-Whitewater pushes eight to ten clasases on professors per year, depending on how long they've taught. Along with teaching, professors also must advise students on their academic progress, which can be a tedious process. Other colleges often provide more advancement chances as well.
"I wanted a place where I could teach fewer classes, but faculty research requirements are more stringent and research is considered more important," print journalism professor Cassidy said. "Faculty research, in my opinion, isn't emphasized very much at UW-W. That's not a knock on the school, it's just that some universities are more teaching oriented and others are more research oriented," said Cassidy. Cassidy tested the market and found a spot at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, IL.
The pay scale at UWW is actually quite competitive with other colleges. While some students and other uninformed people believe that it is a low salary that is driving professors away, but that's not the case.
"We're going to keep doing what we always do. There is always a demand for teachers. We'll always have the right tools to teach you guys," said John Luecke.

The little red schoolhouse - more than just little...and red.

Built on top of a drumlin, the little red schoolhouse is one of the more historical points within UW-Whitewater's campus. The building, measuring 30 x 20 feet, sports a weathered red paint job and is designed to honor pioneer life. According to the virtual campus website, no official records exist as to when the school was built. Alas, student records date the building back to the 1870's.
The little red schoolhouse originally existed in the Menominee Falls / Brown Deer area on the corner of W. Bradley and N. Granville Roads.



















Once UW-W professor and historian Walker D. Wyman made it possible for the Red Schoolhouse to stand where it is today. In a book titled "A History of Wisconsin State University Whitewater" by Janette Bohi, the little red is actually mentioned. The book, published in 1967, discussed the future plans for UW-W.

"Proponents of a 20,000 seat stadium have settled for a more modest goal, indicative of the enrollment slowdown as the century draws to a close. Amidst all these destinies and dreams stands the Red Schoolhouse, brought to campus in 1966 by the institution's second historian president". (Bohi, 237)

With Halloween just a day away, the rumors of someone who hung themselves in the schoolhouse resurfaces. "It's not true", said building maintance caretaker Steve Barnes. "Not quite sure how that one started."

The little red schoolhouse, along with the log cabin, continue to sit behind the University Center, which is currently being redone. They will continue to be historical icons on an ever-expanding campus.

Profile Story: Deanne Thorsen

In most cases, secretarial work tends to be mundane. For Deanne Thornsen, head secretary for the UW-W police department, it's emphatically the opposite.
"I like my job because it's never boring," said Thorsen. What used to be a one-person job has now expanded to three. Deanne has a full-time assistant secretary, along with student workers who come in between 7:45a.m. and 4:00p.m. to answer phones and fill out reports. When asked what her job duties are, Deanne said, "What don't I do?"
She deals with the public on a daily basis, as police departments and other people request police records. She's also in charge of keeping the seven computers operating and up-to-date on the first floor of Goodhue hall, where the police department is located. She's also in charge of payroll and deposits for all sectors of the police force as well. Along with police staff payroll, she also manages all student workers and 'safewalkers' - a student-run walk-along service on campus. There are currently 15 safewalkers, who patrol from 6:00p.m. to 2:00a.m. "Safewalk doesnt get used much, but I do believe it makes campus a bit safer than it would be without them," Thornsen said. In addition to endless clerical work, she also attends court proceedings in Walworth county once a month.
Thornsen has a long history in secretarial police work. "I started my law enforcement career as a dispatcher at the Tomah police department," she says. "I didn't care for the hours of law enforcement, which are nights and weekends, so I went to work in the records office at Jackson Correctional Institution." After her stint at Jackson, she took a pay cut and worked as a program assistant at the State Patrol Academy. "It was closer to home, and I wanted to get out of the prison setting," Thornsen says. Her husband, Oran Thornsen, then got a job in the Janesville ara, and Deanne interviewed for and won the head secretary position.
Communication is key to her position. "A good relationship with fellow employees is always important," she says. "I have contact with the officers and management staff and must work closely with both. It would be hard to do my job effectively without a good relationship with all of them," Thornsen said. The student workers are also very important to her, as she can't stay productive without them. "I have to answer phones and monitor the check-in counter when they're not in," she says. "I don't get much done." She also said that the student workers do a lot of time-consuming jobs, such as filing mail and magazines and filling out accident reports, which she greatly appreciates.
Deanne is just now finding time for hobbies. "For the first time in 20 years, my husband and I are alone in the house. It's kind of nice!" Deanne says with a smile. Her two kids, Becky and Tom, are both away at different colleges. She loves to swim in the summertime, and in her spare time she enjoys reading. The Thornsen family also has a vacation home in Northern Wisconsin, which they travel to frequently during the summer months.

9/11 and Wisconsin: 5 Years Later

Five years after the 9/11 attacks, the scene at ground zero in New York City remains the same: empty. New Yorkers aren't the only ones who are discontent about the lack of an existing memorial. While politics, players, and money have slowed down the process of erecting a visible monument there, Wisconsin locations have remembered and shown their own support of memorializing fallen heroes.
"9/11: We Will Never Forget" signs have been strewn across various front lawns here in Whitewater, Wisconsin. Dennis L. Kachel, landlord of approximately 70% of student housing in the area was responsible for the recent showing of patriotism. No representatives were available for comment.
Whitewater is not the only city to show rememberence of the tragedy that struck five years ago. In June 2005, Green Bay replaced its "Packer Receiver" statue by the public museum with mini replica twin towers. Two large gleaming steal towers stand tall and can be seen from most Green Bay places. Names of victims are etched into the base and a chunk of a World Trade Center girder is mounted on the front.
Other ceremonies were held across the state on the morning of September 11th. Many church bell towers rang at 10:03am; the time that the first plane careened into the towers in New York. Governor Doyle spoke in Madison as well.