Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Beeroseur: January

In this first installment of 'The Beeroseur', I decided to review not 1, not 2, but 3 brews! It's a rough job, but someone (not really) has to do it.

Rewind 3 days ago. It's 8:00pm on a Saturday and my buddy Tom and I decide to take a trip to the alcoholic's mecca: Discount Liquor. This place is glorious. Not only do they have an incredible amount of rare brews, but those brews are priced ridiculously cheap. Example: Chambly Noire, a Canadian dark brew, was priced at $6.99 for a table beer (750mL). At my restaurant, we sell Chambly Noire by the glass for $7, for about an 8oz pour. Think about that. This Discount Liquor place is amazing. On to the reviews:

Sprecher Black Bavarian
From the bottle: This intensely dark Kulmbacher-style lager has a superb malt complexity with the distinctive flavors and aromas of carmelized and chocolate malts. A renowned smoothness and a creamy, tan head make it a world champion.
Alc/Vol: 6.0%

Oh wow. This beer has recently become one of my favorites due to my recent visit to the Sprecher Brewery 2 weeks ago. I don't know what Kulmbacher style is, nor do I care - this beer is the shit. Tastes of chocolate & carmel malts, just as the label described. It's also housed in 16oz bottles rather than 12oz bottles, which is a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it. It's opaque color is rather inviting. I'd recommend it to anyone who is afraid of dark beers, because it's sweet flavor is strangely unique. Imagine chocolate beer. You have Sprecher Black Bavarian. The 4 pack was polished off quickly. Milwaukee knows suds.

Maredsous 10 Triple
From the bottle: Maredsous 10 is a golden bodied triple with festive sparkle, creamy body, and luscious head. You'll revel in its balanced, long, and warm finish. This ale underwent secondary fermentation in the bottle and was cellared to fully develop its flavors and aromas. Maredsous Abbey ales are brewed in Belgium, using the traditional methods of the Benedictine Monks of Maredsous, whose abbey dates back to 1878.
Alc/Vol: 10%

In a Beeroseur first, I present to you: The 'Table Beer'. Meant for sharing, the table beer comes in a delicious size of 1 pint, 9.4 fluid ounce bottle. Equaling about 25.4 fl. oz., or 750 mL. It's golden color was pleasing to the eye, and was deadly to the soberness factor. A very dangerous beer, as it tastes very crisp and light, but will MESS YOU UP. A 10% abbey triple ale? Almost unheard of. I'll tell you one thing - those Belgian monks know what they're doing. And apparently, they have 230 years. We sell the 'Maredsous 8' at the bar I work at - a thick, toffee flavored dubbel that's also very strong. To be honest, I prefer this one even though they're completely different. No bitterness whatsoever, and a crisp bite that lingered at the end of every sip made the Maredsous 10 one that I'll be enjoying again very soon. Recommended for anyone who enjoys good beer.

At this point in the night, Tom and I are failing at Call of Duty: World at War, and have decided to watch a George Carlin special on HBO. George Carling was a funny old prick. We realize we're buzzed, which usually isn't normal for finishing about 4 glasses of beer. Strange how things work when you dont drink Miller or Coors shit. We laugh, we talk, we. . . throw coasters at a cat. Just your average Saturday Night I suppose. For the nightcap...

Unibroue Chambly Noire
From the bottle: This premium dark ale honours the brave soldiers of the Carignan-Salieres Regiment and their traditional black hats. In 1665, the Regiment is dispatched to New France by King Louis XIV to settle hostilities with the Iroquois.
Alc/Vol: 6.2%

Lol what? So, the beer is dark to pay homage to the regiment's hat color? Nothing screams 'Victory' like taking on the savage Iroquois Indians! Did I mention this beer is CANADIAN? Lol I'm so confused by this. You should see the label: Some puffy-shirt wearing mother fucker pointing into the sunset with a pencil-thin douchebaggy mustache. If I have any Canadian readers - please accept my apologies. Perhaps I'm just being difficult. My beer snobbiness has caught up with me. For as much of a beer snob that I may think I am, I have no idea what 'Dark Ale on Lees' means, which is also written on the label next to said puffy shirt, douchebag lookin soldier guy. Chambly Noire, in my opinion, is an older, more distant cousin to the Sprecher Black Bavarian. Both are black in color, but the Chambly has a lighter and sweeter taste. Whereas the Sprecher Black is thick - Chambly Noire is lighter-loooking, and less heavy. When poured correctly, the Chambly Head appears to be slightly more inviting. The night was a bit fuzzy at this point, so I'm sad to say I really can't remember any descriptive undertones. It does have quite the chocolate nose though. And priced at $5.99, you really can't beat it. (The Maredsous 10 was also $5.99. I don't know how Discount Liquor makes any money...)

Well that was anti-climactic. My favorite part is at the end, when Tom asks "Are we gonna open the Barley-Wine?" I respond with, "I hope not". Barley Wine will really mess people up most of the time, as it's fermented differently and usually has a high alcohol content. Toppers was also ordered during this process, to refresh the pallette. Actually that's wrong. It was ordered because we had the drunk munchies. How about some pointless videos of us throwing coasters at an old cat? Complete with Jackass-inspired intro:

pictures? (Please Click for Hi-Res)

George Carlin makin us laugh. Also picured is a 'Peninsula Porter' from Shipwrecked Brewery in Door County, WI.

Coaster Kitty.

Zeus is not amused.

The models posing...

Till next month, fellow beer lovers!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Hard Hitting Questions

I've had a few of these written down for some time now. I may have even asked you one or two of them at some point. Some I've found the answers to, others I've not. Without further ado, I bring to you - Hard hitting questions.

1.) Has anyone evaluated Eddie Murphy for Schizophrenia? How about narcissism?

2.) Do elderly people actually enjoy their medical marijuana? Do they sit around watching Murder She Wrote all lit up? Do they fiend for it? "Delores, would you mind handing me that spliff that's on the end table there? I got a craving for the sticky".

3.) Do photographers have to stop photo shoots if any of the dudes get a chubby? I mean, if there was a naked/near-naked model hunched over in my crotchal region, my mind might start to wander...

4.) Do people who sport the mullet ask for one when they go get a haircut? Or do they say "Take a little off of the sides, leave the top, front and back all white-trashy please".

5.) Why are fat people such good singers? It's not like their lungs have a lot of air capacity. You know, cuz fat people have a hard time breathing and all.

6.) What does a joint Taco Bell / Long John Silvers kitchen smell like? Mexican seafood, or Fishy Mexican? Is there a difference?

7.) If cartoon characters don't need to wear pants, then why do most wear shirts?

8.) Say you're showing your double-wide trailer. Is it still called an open house?

9.) Would you believe Morgan Freeman if he said 2+2=3 ? I'd like to think most of us would.

10.) Do girls pee in the shower too?

11.) If the badger is Wisconsin's state animal, how come I've never seen one?