Sunday, May 31, 2009

A Few pictures of the Pizza Beast


More pictures to come when I take some that are worthwhile. Click for Hi-res versions.

Event #1 - Minneapolis, MN

Event #1 - Minneapolis, MN
Memorial Day weekend, 5/22 - 5/25, Twins vs. Brewers series.

And so the journey begins. The sole goal - to generate interest in the Pal ermos pizza company, one town at a time. The Yukon Denali is not meant to tow our pizza trailer. That's pretty clear. 7 miles per gallon. Yes please. We stopped at a gas station outside of Baraboo around 7pm. On a diaper changing station in a scary, dimly-lit mens bathroom read "Cleveland Police Chief Mike McGrath slobs the big knob". You taught him, law-abiding citizen! We've been on the road for 3 hours, and we aren't even to the Dells yet. Traffic is terrible due to it being Memorial Day weekend.

9:00pm - to Eau Claire. Lots of miles to go, but we're not stopping. Dinner can wait. In other news - Head East's "Never Been any Reason" just came on the radio. Kev says they're from WI. I don't believe him. We shall see upon further research. (Further research - they're from Champaign, Illinois. HA!) In other news, we are killing this poor Yukon's engine. The oil pressure gauge is buried PAST the maximum point notch. We discuss how 'incognito' is a great word. What's the word origin? May I have it in a sentence please?

We arrived at our Holiday Inn Express at 10:00pm. Immediately headed over to Ray J's, an American Pub/Grill that served actual chicken wings. AND they had Fat Tire on tap. WTF? I asked the barkeep how long they've had it. 2.5 years. Apparently the twin cities was the testing point for New Belgium Brewing to see if it would be worth distributing to the midwest. So, thanks MN for being awesome at drinking beer, thus allowing WI to carry it.
A round of disc golf was in order early Saturday morning. After circling Cottage Grove (Minnesota, not Wisconsin...) for 20 minutes, we finally found it. Course was good, but quite dirty. Garbage, litter, and BROKEN GLASS everywhere. Oakwood park disc golfers / hippies - clean your shit up. Seriously. Get your acts together, or you'll get the axe.

Our Saturday pre-game event was successful. A little fuss was had about the fact we were using a generator for electricity. But no matter - as a band drowned the noise out considerably. I can't remember the name of the band, but they seemed to enjoy the free pizza I gave them during their set. 108 total pizzas were made, rounding out to 864 slices given away. I'm guessing that's a lot of satisfaction. The best part came after we packed up, as the Minneapolis Town Hall Brewery was a few blocks east. Sat out on the patio and enjoyed the food and beverages. God I love that place.
Sunday morning started off nicely with a round of disc golf at Acorn Park in Rosedale, MN. 2 of the holes actually had swampy wetlands, somewhat difficult to navigate. San Jovi, a dear old Madison friend of mine joined us on the excursion as well. Witnessed a dude hit an impossible, blind, uphill shot through a 5 ft window between 2 trees. It was absolutely incredible. Hope his girlfriend, whom he was shooting with, was also impressed. I hope he got laid because of it. I hope their children are future disc golf professionals. Onward...
Sundays event was also smooth sailing. MN people are nice. This wasn't surprising to me, but welcomed. Yelling "free pizza!" got old, but at least they formed their own line. Way to go, Twins kids! After a short clean-up process, we got our free tickets to the game. So we stayed for a few innings of shitty Brewer interleague play. Did get to see the Mike Cameron jack, followed by an even more impressive Joe Crede bomb. Equal amounts of fans from both squads were in attendance. Even though it was on ESPN Sunday night baseball, it was lame. The Metrodome sucks. Still. I imagine even the Twins fans hate it there. How much would it suck to be a season ticket holder? No thanks. Shitrodome. Abortodome. Whatever. I felt like a plastic toy prize smashed in the bottom of a crack jack box. People jammed so close together that strangers leg hairs get braided with yours by the end of the game. They even have a large counter that read '56' - as in 56 more home games in this shithole before they get their new stadium. If you can't guess by now - we didn't stay long. But, uh, thanks for the tickets!

We hooked up the trailer at some point around the 5th inning, and drove it back to the hotel. A quick shower was had, as we were going to go out in St. Paul to 2 bars that I had read about. First stop - The Muddy Pig. Shout out to bartender/manager Thea - you were awesome. Food was awesome as well, but not as awesome as the tap list. Good god. Drank a Southern Tier Iniquity (Beeroseur rating: 9.0) Also tried a Wikap Pater Dubbel (8.1). Your typical beer flags/signs/tins adorned the establishment, along with a ton of ceramic/plastic/plush pigs. Awkward name for a bar, but it was the shit. (If you ever are in St. Paul, go to this place). 2 blocks away was The Happy Gnome, the second bar on the list. In between though, were newly layed sidewalk squares/cobblestones that Kev was furious at, for some reason. It was hilarious, guess you had to be there. Also had a large tap list, but wasn't as inviting as the Muddy Pig. Service was kinda terrible as well. And I know a little bit about customer service. Sunday funday (fun-night?) in St. Paul also showed us a magnificent view of the lighted capital building. Whilst at the Gnome I had Surly Brewing Bender, a local brewery's version of a coffee porter (8.6) Also tested Surly Furious - a ridiculous hop inflused brew. Also bought a few taster glasses from there.

So the above is what I had written down in the car from the adventure. Hopefully something more exciting will happen next week while I'm in Omaha. I'm planning on getting a mullet, more disc golf, and new bars. Stay tuned.

Friday, May 29, 2009

You Should Know

. . . That Tepid Epics is also a guest author for the blogsite 'Sheffieldshouse'. It's a startup sports minded blog that some friends of mine created. Look for future posts there from me.

Sheffieldshouse is also on Twitter. Follow us until we call the cops on you for stalking/indecent exposure.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What has Rider Strong been up to?

You remember Rider Strong, the lonesome badass kid with the terrible 90's parted hair on Boy Meets World?

Well, it seems that life is looking up for Rider, as he has grown up now and is pitching for the Philadelphia Phillies. Congrats kid, you've made it!

This comparison comes on the heels of the new ESPN the Magazine commercial (which is absolutely terrible - buy a magazine - get a fleece. Holy shit!), which stars Cole Hamels along with Chad 'Old News' Cinco and Jameer Nelson. Originally, the roommate and I said he looked like the older Matthews' kid on Boy Meets World - played by Andrew Lawrence. Upon seeing a cast photo, clearly he IS Rider Strong. Watch ESPN enough and you'll see the awful athlete roundtable restaurant commercial. It's laughable.

And for the record, Danielle Fishel is smokin hot. Further proof that I don't just gravitate towards skinny chicks...Miss you, Topanga!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My Summer as a Carney

So some more changes will be coming to Tepid Epics, surprise surprise.

I've taken a summer position as a 'special events representative' for Milwaukee's own Palermo's Pizza company. It's going to keep me very busy, as most of these 'events' will take place on the weekends throughout the midwest. A high school friend's husband and I will be driving a Yukon Denali with a 22 foot long by 11 and a half foot tall 'pizza trailer' - complete with awesome vinyl graphics, pop-out awning, and a large oven already inside.

Locations for the 'Summer Pizza Tour 09' include Omaha, Minneapolis, Madison, Kansas City, Des Moines and a few others. Equipped with a gas card, corporate credit card, and hotel accomodations, I'll be serving the shit out of Americans. State fairs, air shows, and 'Taste of (insert city here)' will be the main points of sampling for the Summer.

So what once was just a Wisconsin-only jewel is now becoming an awesome frozen pizza company about to dominate the midwest. The Summer pizza tour is a way for Palermos to grab yet another share of the market segment. Goin to the people. Givin em free pizza. Lovin life. Or something like that.

My restaurant manager looked at my summer calendar for Palermos and said, "Soo, are you a Carney then?" I laughed. But then I thought about it. I think I might be. The marketing president has asked me to blog about our travels and the people and places we come in contact with. I'll also be on Twitter, which i'm not too stoked about. The main subject of Tepid Epics in the upcoming weeks will be to 'tell the real story' about the path to Palermo's glory. When I'm not working, I'll be disc golfing, drinking at foreign bars, and participating in other random shenanigans whenever necessary. I'll post the blogsite and Twitter username when they become available later this month.

I hope you'll still follow me on this crazy upcoming summer journey. Posts will be made whenever I have the ample amount of time to do so. It has the potential to yield some great stories. Only time will tell.

Till then, stay classy...

Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Beeroseur: May (The Arrival of New Belgium Brewing!)

New Belgium Brewing Products are here!!!

All that really needs to be said about this regional event is well-written by's founder Jason here.

The Fort Collins, Colorado brewery is known for it's superb amber beer, Fat Tire. Of course, when Three Cellars received its shipment the other day, I sped my way over to buy all 3 22oz. varieties.

New Belgium Fat Tire
From the bottle: Fat Tire Amber Ale's appeal is in its feat of balance: toasty, biscuit-like malt flavors coasting in equilibrium with hoppy freshness. Named in honor of Jeff's mountain bike trip from brewery to brewery through Europe. Fat Tire is still crafted following the original home brew recipe that Jeff brainstormed on this cycling trip.
Alc/Vol: 5.2%
Just a great overall amber. Well balanced, smooth, and tiptoes the line between malty and hoppy flavors. First seen in the basement of my old house because my dad enjoyed it as well. First tasted during college, when (somehow), the grand opening of Fat Jack's in Whitewater, WI had a single 1/2 barrel on tap, after venturing out to CO to get one. Besides being 22oz., another awesome factor of this beer is the label - a small stamp commemorates that Fat Tire is 'Now legally cruising into America's Dairyland'. What took you so long, New Belgium Brewing?

New Belgium 1554
From the bottle:
A highly complex brew. It's old world, malty feel has me slightly puzzled. It's hard to put your tongue on exactly what you're tasting. Regardless, I'm extremely happy the New Belgium Boys 'followed their folly' (sidenote - as an advertising guy at heart - this tagline, themeline, whathaveyou - is slightly awkward. That's another story...) and created this brew. Dark copper brown in color with an off-tan, creamy head. This 'enlightened' ale certainly enlightened my tastebuds.

New Belgium Mothership Wit
From the bottle:
Ah yes - going 'green' and 'organic' is the way to go nowadays. People aiming to reduce their 'carbon footprint' and whatever else conservationists are aiming to do nowadays have a beer for their cause as well. Mothership Wit is, actually, the first organic brew I've tried. And, I was pleasantly surprised. White head stayed around the rim of the glass to chat, much longer than I had anticipated it would. Barely golden in color, Mothership Wit has a weak look to it, but has enough taste to keep the drinker intrigued. Personally, I would choose a different wheat next time, but would buy/try again if the option was out there.

(from right to left: Fat Tire, Mothership Wit, and 1554)
Beer tastes better when it's housed in 22oz bottles! ;)

May Tunes


11) Bikini - I remember being young

10) Kid Cudi ft. Wale - Is There Any Love?

9) Sebastien Tellier - Kilometer (A-Trak Main Mix)

8) Wolfmother - Vagabond

7) Wale - The Freestyle (Roc Boys) ((From 'The Mixtape about Nothing))

6) Santogold - Lights Out (David Rubato Remix)

(yes, that is the original video, not the remix)

5) Izza Kizza - Connect the Dots ft. Colin Munroe

4) Dj Class ft. Kanye West & Estelle - I'm the Shit

3) Clipse - Numb it Down ((From their 'Road to till the casket drops' mixtape))

2) Friendly Fires - Skeleton Boy ((Looooove this))

1) Clipse ft. Kanye West - Kinda Like a Big Deal

Yeeeeeah. More posts to follow shortly. We gots alots to discuss.