Saturday, January 24, 2009

Hard Hitting Questions

I've had a few of these written down for some time now. I may have even asked you one or two of them at some point. Some I've found the answers to, others I've not. Without further ado, I bring to you - Hard hitting questions.

1.) Has anyone evaluated Eddie Murphy for Schizophrenia? How about narcissism?

2.) Do elderly people actually enjoy their medical marijuana? Do they sit around watching Murder She Wrote all lit up? Do they fiend for it? "Delores, would you mind handing me that spliff that's on the end table there? I got a craving for the sticky".

3.) Do photographers have to stop photo shoots if any of the dudes get a chubby? I mean, if there was a naked/near-naked model hunched over in my crotchal region, my mind might start to wander...

4.) Do people who sport the mullet ask for one when they go get a haircut? Or do they say "Take a little off of the sides, leave the top, front and back all white-trashy please".

5.) Why are fat people such good singers? It's not like their lungs have a lot of air capacity. You know, cuz fat people have a hard time breathing and all.

6.) What does a joint Taco Bell / Long John Silvers kitchen smell like? Mexican seafood, or Fishy Mexican? Is there a difference?

7.) If cartoon characters don't need to wear pants, then why do most wear shirts?

8.) Say you're showing your double-wide trailer. Is it still called an open house?

9.) Would you believe Morgan Freeman if he said 2+2=3 ? I'd like to think most of us would.

10.) Do girls pee in the shower too?

11.) If the badger is Wisconsin's state animal, how come I've never seen one?

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