Friday, January 26, 2007

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are Obsessed with California

Whether you like them or not, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have been one of the most influential rock bands of the last 20 years. They've transgressed genres of punk, funk, metal, and dare I say - hip-hop. Sure, some of their songs make no sense. Sure, the radio overplays most of their new singles. Sure, most people have no idea what Anthony Keidis' tattoos mean, or what exactly Flea did to get a role in The Big Lebowski. But here's one thing I do know about the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are Obsessed with California

Let's go on a lyrical adventure, shall we?

From "Californication":
...And if you want these kind of dreams/It's Californication
...First born unicorn/Hard core soft porn/Dream of Californication/Dream of Californication

You get the idea. The made up word "Californication" surfaces a total of 11 times in that song. Let's continue.

From "Around the World":
...I try not to whine/But, I must warn ya/bout the girls from California

From "Dani California":
Chorus: California rest in peace/Simultaneous release/California show your teeth/She's my priestess, I'm your priest/Yeah, yeah

Come ON. California is in the fricking title. Dani California is probably some two timin hooker that one of the band members hooked up with and now has a raging case of herpegonhasyphillaids.

From "Parallel Universe":
Chorus: Christ I’m a sidewinder/ I’m a California King /I swear it’s everywhere /It’s everything

Apparently they're from California. I did my research. I love Wisconsin & all, but if I had a band, I probably wouldnt sing about our Dairy state in every song. (Well....) The sad thing is, I bet theres more RHCP that have some reference to Cali in it. Even after hearing all these west-coast Cali homage anthems, I still have very little desire to even step foot in the state. Its chillin on a fault, so one day it's just going to break off and float into the Pacific. I'm guessing theres a Utah-sized hole in the ozone layer above Los Angeles that stretches into Southern San Diego. Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor. Let me repeat that - Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor. San Francisco is the gay mecca of America. Every year, some crazyass brush fire extends into Arizona or some other state and wipes out an endagered fern that was supposed to cure cancer. You know where that crazyass brush fire started? California.

Take a look at WI has compared to what CA has:

Wisconsin has: Beer, Cheese, Milwaukee, Madison, Stoughton, Beer, Bo Ryan, Drumlins, Eskers,
Beer, Friday Fish Fry, 'Bratwurst', Badger Football, Basketball, and Hockey,
Seasons, Harley Davidson Co, Culvers, and Beer.

California has: Unstable tectonic plates, no ozone layer, a mountain of gays, and brush fires that
kill plantlife that could cure humans of cancer.

Rock on Red Hot Chili Peppers!


A.Guss said...

well i get to see the chili peppers in i win

Jim Macho said...

Don't forget about Flea being in Back to the Future Parts II and III

Jake said...

Flea was in those two? iiiii was not aware of that.

Anonymous said...

thanks !! very helpful post!