During Oscar Thoughts version 3.0

It's that time of year again. I figured I've done it twice, let's do it a third time. As an added bonus, sort of - I decided to write my picks down for who I thought would win in the main categories. I did pretty well considering the fact that I had only seen 2 (!!!) of the nominated movies (The Dark Knight and Milk). Again, I give you - Thoughts on the Oscars...

• Wow Hugh Jackman is tan. Nevermind - Anne Hathaway is just still really, really pale.

• Well, I still want to fuck Penelope Cruz. 1 Oscar pick wrong, 16 more to go.

• Tina Fey & Steve Martin - I want to go to there.

• Brent: "How much do you think it cost to make that mini animated short for the Oscars?" I don't know, but probably a lot.

• Saank you, sank you, sank you. Says the Japanese man who can't speak English. Want some Sanka? How does the Jap win for a French animated film? And Domo Origato Mr. Roboto? Is it racism if you make fun of your own culture?

• Brent: "When did Sarah Jessica Parker get boobs? Me: "Since always. Don't you remember Hocus Pocus? They were the only reason I watched it."

• Benjamin Button wins for Art Direction. I'm 3 for 5.

• 8:19pm. Brent goes upstairs to talk to Jess. Whatta homo.

• The Duchess wins for costume design. I saw that Kiera Knightley was in it. Neat. If you know me, you know I like my skinny girls. Can't believe I'm saying this, but I think she might be too skinny. Someone give that ho a bacon cheeseburger.

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is just that for me - as I have not seen it.

• Listen ladies. I look better than Robert Pattison from Twilight. A park bench looks better than him. A rank, clothesless homeless man begging for change on Marquettes campus has a chance to look more attractive than that guy. I don't understand women at all, it's clear.

• I would absolutely destroy Natalie Portman. DESTROY.

• A part of me is really happy for Robert Downey Jr. His current movie roles have been entertaining and inspiring. Years ago, he was a struggling drug addict. His turnaround is good to hear. The other part of me thinks that he's just putting on a front, and is a complete asshole. I say he winds back up in rehab at some point in the future. Heard it here first.

• I love James Franco. Nuff said.

• Billy Corgan is still the worst sounding vocalist in the last 20 years.

• Beyonce is lip synching. I think. But that's ok cuz I don't think she's on steroids. I'll have to ask her ass though, cuz that thing looks juiced. Wait, maybe she's not lip synching. Now i'm unsure. Well this was pointless.

• Dear Mr. Arkin. It's Phillip Seymour Hoffman, not Seymour Phillip Hoffman. Ouch, man.

• Zach Effron looks like Jared Leto, A LOT.

Well that's it. Nothing groundbreaking, unfortunately. Here's my Oscar picks - Green Highlighted picks mean I was right. Red means wrong. Winner in parentheses. I did well, even without reading any 'favorites' columns on the topic.

1) Leading Actor: Mickey Rourke (Sean Penn)
2) Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger
3) Leading Actress: Kate Winslet
4) Supporting Actress: Viola Davis (Penelope Cruz)
5) Animated Film: Wall-E
6) Art Direction - Benjamin Button
7) Cinematography - Slumdog Millionaire
8) Costume Design - Milk (The Duchess)
9) Directing - Slumdog Millionaire
10) Documentary - Encounters from... (Man on Wire)
11) Documentary Short - Witness (Smile Pinki)
12) Editing - Slumdog Millionaire
13) Best Picture - Slumdog Millionaire
14) Sound - The Dark Knight
15) Sound Mixing - The Dark Knight (Slumdog Millionaire)
16) Adapted Screenplay - Doubt (Slumdog Millionaire)
17) Original Screenplay - Milk

That's Tepid, yo.