Wednesday, April 16, 2008

AFF2: The Douchebag Haikus

ZOMG! I found the Douchebag Haikus!!! The 2 morons in row 23 will be no longer be safe from the wrath of my pen. Tucked behind a blank page after 'The Cincinnati Affair' (from July 2006 fame. Actually on the page right after the tally count of KRAAAAZY KAPLANS Billboards), they beckoned me to discover them again! I was happy to say the least. Apparently I overstated how many there actually were - I only made 8. Whatevs. I hope you like reading them as much as I liked creating them on the flight. For an even better effect - read them softly and delicately in the true '5-7-5' haiku way. Enjoy.



The Douchebag Haiku's
3-26-08, 10:00pm


Florida D-bags
On a god-forsaken flight
Please stop your swearing


Sexual Conquests
Appropriate for plane talk?
I don't believe so


Behind me - morons
I now know why girls hate men
They're human garbage. . .


Greetings, douchebag one
You're outlandish and stupid
Fucking kill yourself


Douchebag number two
I hope your wife passes you
A dose of herpes


Towards douchebag one
Burp in my ear once again
My pen meets your eyes


Again with myspace
Ever get off computer?
I'm guessing you don't


Ebay business plan
Sir - you are bound for failure
And large douchebagness
.

2 comments:

Schmill said...

Love the Waynes World clip :-) And the haikus

giddee said...

u are ridiculous!!! i love it. someday, i hope you publish the whole journal so people worldwide can also enjoy krazy kaplans and the haikus!!!