Wednesday, February 14, 2007


Listen. The toilet is not your friend.

I'm not sure what started this phenomenon. What dumb bitch decided, "Hey. A picture of me urinating on the porcelain queen while intoxicated would be funny. Tee hee hoo hee". NO. It's disgusting. In every way conceivable. It's not funny at all, and you will NEVER look remotely attractive. Yes, the bunched-up jeans hanging around your knees looks reeeeeaaal good. Your toothpick sized arm stretching for the toilet paper brings out your eyes quite nicely. The half-retarded shit-eating grin on your face let's us know much joy you're experiencing. NO. And what goes through the photographer's head? "Hey lets try a shot of your panties around your ankles..." What the shit is wrong with you broads? I know a good 93% of you tinklers are drunk at the time, but is there something absolutely necessary about documenting your bodily functions at the end of the nite? As if you're gonna recap it looking at the pics from last nite. "Oh yeah - remember when you busted in on me last nite while I was pissin? Haha thats great - put it up on facebook so EVERYONE can see it!" NO.

The only thing I can do when I unknowingly stumble upon a pic of that nature is go, "Well that's not good". Thats not good at all. For anyone. What if your dad saw that? Incoming phone call to your pink razr, hussie!

In conclusion, ladies - just stop it. Some guys (myself included) don't even like to think that girls even go IN that room, other than to shower of course. Call me immature...whatever. Yeah I know everyones gotta do their business...that's fine. But when you go taking pics of it, its almost a violation of my civl rights as an American citizen. Ok maybe not, but it damn well should be. This has been pretty much an incoherent rant, so if it reads like I have A.D.D., accept this half hearted apology. Cameras are meant for taking pics of friends, animals, and landscapes. Not for dumb crap like this:

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