Fellas. We've all been there. From an early age, when he just popped in to say hello for no fucking reason (right before you were called on to go do that math problem on the board). To the middle school dance (where you got to dance with Allison, the girl who developed faster than every other girl in school, tits firmly pressed against you). And finally, high school and college, where you fell asleep in class and woke up with one. The erection has been ever-present in our lives. Usually without welcome. In no way does this serve as an official guide to dismissing the pesky beast. Think of it more as . . . better ways to disguise him. Without further ado - The top 8 ways to hide the fact you have a boner.
8) The inner-thigh squeeze: Although uncomfortable, placing so-called boner near the inner thigh and somehow getting it to 'stick' is #8 on the list. I guess it's all about friction? This option runs dangerously close to 'penile fracture' territory, so be sure not to go down too far with him. Penile fracture? That's not good. For ANYBODY.
7) Pinch yourself: A slight pinch'll get the message to your brain that says, "ouch". Basically just start hitting yourself. It'll take your mind off the fact your guy is filled with blood. For further reference watch the 40 Yr. Old Virgin when Andy calls the Viagra place or whatever and the Indian dude tells him ways to get rid of it. "...you take the hot ember, and place it on your wrist..." classic scene.
6) Have sex: Self explanatory. 'There's no better way to hide it, than to get up inside it' I just made that up now. Like it?
5) Don't wear sweatpants: Way to go, dumbass. You're on your own.
4) Think ugly thoughts: Or, if you will, unsexy thoughts. Grandma. A rocking chair. Toothpaste. Gum disease. Rwanda. Coffee tables. Dyslexia. Any of those will usually work. Unless of course one of the above items really get your motor runnin. I hate to throw out another movie reference, but it worked for Austin: Baseball, cold showers. Baseball, cold showers. MARGARET THATCHER NAKED ON A COLD DAY! MARGARET THATCHER NAKED ON A COLD DAY!
3) Fold your hands neatly in front of you: Not only do you disguise the fact here, but you also look like a distinguished gentleman. But that couldnt be further from the truth, sinner. This option is a good one because you dont have to shift him, mess with him, or the like. Works standing up or sitting down. A win win situation.
2) Sit down (Or continue sitting) It's all about the angles. When sitting down, we get that whole 'jeans boner' thing with shorts/pants/jeans bunching up near the crotchal region anyways. Embrace it! But like I said, it's about the angles. Say you're sitting down, your legs and torso meet at 90 degrees. Boner guy is midway, pointing at 45-50 degrees. Whatever. That's fine, roll with it. It's gonna be hard for anyone else to see. Let me rephrase that. It will be difficult for anyone else to notice it. That's better.
1) The waistband tuck: A proven tactic. Every guy has done this. You know why? Cuz it works. A century old tradition that's stuck around through the ages. Black, white, English, Jew - they've all done it. To perform the act, nonchalantly with one hand direct him up and under the waistband of the current pant you'd be wearing. BAM. Stealth dick. Now walk around care free. If someone asks you about the bulge, just yell 'ITS NOT A TUMAH!'. Shit. 3 movie references in one post. Shame on me.
There you have it. The top 8 ways to hide the fact you have a boner. Hope the list is complete. Obviously if you have any thoughts or ones that I missed, do tell. Now walk it off:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-VYpH_DagnQ
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
28 comments:
Thank you :) check out that emo boy style on this blog:
http://crazy-emo-boys.blogspot.com
gay military singles [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]free christian dating[/url] singles pages http://loveepicentre.com/ singles who click
boulder valley dental tracey hughs [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/cordarone.htm]cordarone[/url] aciniobacter bacteria http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/diclofenac-gel.htm beta blocker high blood pressure medicine drug interactions http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/cholesterol.htm
origin of rh blood factor [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/smettere-di-fumare.htm]smettere di fumare[/url] fingering test orgasm [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/bystolic.htm]dental vacuum mixer[/url]
blood gholem thorns [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/shallaki.htm]shallaki[/url] mineral map http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/actonel.htm travel health insurance wikipedia http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-alergica-y-el-asma.htm
tuberous breast correction pictures [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/viagra.htm]viagra[/url] chicago breast augmentation gallery [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/x.htm]health skills[/url]
the mineral lead [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/keppra.htm]keppra[/url] how does the kidney work http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/altace.htm nerves and muscle system http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/xtz--energy-booster-.htm
soilders heart by gary paulsen [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/dostinex.htm]dostinex[/url] adderall teen dosage [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-diabetic.htm]cholesterol atkins diet[/url]
why is coal a mineral [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/1.htm]Online Drugstore[/url] blood borne pathogens training http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/acai-natural-energy-boost.htm schools that use mandatory drug test drop out rate http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/p.htm
prostate massage video [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/xtz--energy-booster-.htm]xtz energy booster[/url] who was the inventor of antibiotics [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/evecare.htm]chocolate calcium[/url]
http://poow.in/rhinocort/spelling-of-rhinocort
[url=http://poow.in/levofloxacin/levofloxacin-use-in-dogs]drug jfg[/url] e drugstore [url=http://poow.in/geodon/geodon-medication-half-life]geodon medication half life[/url]
drug prevention oregon http://poow.in/viagra/buy-viagra-online-one-day-shipping
[url=http://poow.in/metoclopramide/metoclopramide-for-livestock]bcbs drug pharmacy online[/url] street drug named ice [url=http://poow.in/labetalol/labetalol-and-heart-murmurs]labetalol and heart murmurs[/url]
duoderm pharmacy wallgreens http://poow.in/letrozole/letrozole-and-pulmonary-fibrosis
[url=http://poow.in/ribavirin/hepatitis-c-interferon-ribavirin]straight and narrow drug rehab[/url] propecia drugs and skin cancer [url=http://poow.in/letrozole/letrozole-prescription]letrozole prescription[/url] newborn drug exposure screenings [url=http://poow.in/kidneys/problems-with-kidneys]problems with kidneys[/url]
catalunia travel http://atravel.in/inn_lamberville-inn-nj travel best best
[url=http://atravel.in/vacation-packages_escorted-ireland-vacation-packages]airline travel and caseates[/url] plug in travel mug [url=http://atravel.in/tourism_riverland-tourism]riverland tourism[/url]
travel agent waterloo iowa http://atravel.in/tours_grand-circle-tours
[url=http://atravel.in/lufthansa_thuraya-arbitration-boeing]florida travel naples[/url] travel canvas chair [url=http://atravel.in/map_map-of-barge-terminals-on-mississippi]map of barge terminals on mississippi[/url]
travel to buenos aires http://atravel.in/travel_travel-salesman-algorithm-strict-mono windmill travel plaza rapid city sd [url=http://atravel.in]World Travel Guide[/url]
see through clothes http://topcitystyle.com/roberto-cavalli-page15.html crayons melted on clothes [url=http://topcitystyle.com/pepe-jeans-london-t-shirts-for-men-brand52.html]wholesale dress clothes[/url] gucci handbag imitation
http://topcitystyle.com/roberto-cavalli-rock-t-shirt-for-women-white-item2560.html converse shoes [url=http://topcitystyle.com/khaki-shoes-color28.html]new zealand interior designers[/url]
travel united http://adventurecollection.in/tourism/arishiyama-japan-tourism yellowstone travel faq
[url=http://adventurecollection.in/tours/happy-time-tours]vietnam travel services[/url] harvey world travel nsw [url=http://adventurecollection.in/flight/air-bus-flight-simulator]air bus flight simulator[/url]
travel pillow down http://adventurecollection.in/expedia/expedia-business-advantage-expedia-corporate-travel
[url=http://adventurecollection.in/cruise/cruise-ship-galveston-jobs]usc travel cups[/url] travel to mexico with dogs and cats [url=http://adventurecollection.in/vacation-packages/las-vegas-vacation-package-deals-htm]las vegas vacation package deals htm[/url]
travel light outfits http://adventurecollection.in/plane-tickets spain discount travel airline tickets [url=http://adventurecollection.in/adventure/airstream-adventure-design-good-fleet]airstream adventure design good fleet[/url]
depraived underground porn http://theporncollection.in/incest
[url=http://theporncollection.in/sex-mature/mature-womens-pussy]kelly virgin radio[/url] michigan adult entertainment [url=http://theporncollection.in/hentai-porn/jasmine-video-hentai]jasmine video hentai[/url]
gay adult cruises http://theporncollection.in/gay-anal/free-gay-bear-sex-pics
[url=http://theporncollection.in/hentai-porn/hentai-my-name-is-fujiko]adult english bulldog forsale[/url] northwest indiana adult fall baseball leagues [url=http://theporncollection.in/gay-love/gay-8teen]gay 8teen[/url]
adult xxx video clips http://theporncollection.in/lesbian-xxx/free-lesbian-movie-trailers
[url=http://theporncollection.in/orgasm/female-orgasm-movies]hardcore deep anal porn[/url] sex with pre teens xxx [url=http://theporncollection.in/gay-anal/mature-gay-male-chat]mature gay male chat[/url]
lolita porn virgin kid http://theporncollection.in/gay-video/gay-bath-house-new-jersey
[url=http://theporncollection.in/masturbating/babe-masturbating]adult fetish bondage[/url] black lesbian adult films [url=http://theporncollection.in/moms/stay-at-home-moms-keeping-house-clean-and-organized]stay at home moms keeping house clean and organized[/url]
review t mobile blackberry pearl http://www.orderphonetoday.com/v706-quad-band-dual-card-with-wifi-analog-tv--item66.html free sprint pcs mobile ringtone [url=http://www.orderphonetoday.com/x6-quad-band-dual-card-with-wifi-analog-tv-java--item82.html]mobile phones importer exporter[/url] mobile satelite television
tens adult topless club tucson http://xwe.in/fetish/boxing-fetish-sex
[url=http://xwe.in/ass-sex/make-that-ass-vibrate]dildo users[/url] fforce hentai torrent [url=http://xwe.in/adult-video/free-adult-strip-games]free adult strip games[/url]
adult video megaplex home page http://xwe.in/archive-adult/large-print-books-teen-young-adult-order-online
[url=http://xwe.in/blowjob/office-blowjob]free hentai hardcore sex sample clip[/url] sexatary interviews porn sites [url=http://xwe.in/ass-video/videos-of-girls-with-doing-ass-dance]videos of girls with doing ass dance[/url]
absolute free porn movies http://xwe.in/hcg-oral/oral-reading-fluency-assessment
[url=http://xwe.in/orgasm/orgasm-girl-videos]all inclusive adult only carribbean vacation[/url] denver adult bookstores [url=http://xwe.in/adult-video/free-adult-search-engines]free adult search engines[/url]
adult hard free http://xwe.in/toon/toon-fuck-galleries-king-of-the-hill
[url=http://xwe.in/condom/do-spermicidal-condoms-cause-yeast-infections]arrested in mexico murder adult webpage[/url] adult 70s party theme [url=http://xwe.in/shemales/michigan-shemales]michigan shemales[/url]
zara fashions http://luxefashion.us/black-multi-dress-shirts-color104.html fashionphile [url=http://luxefashion.us/leopard-women-apos-s-long-sleeve-tops-color176.html]air force clothes[/url] free label designer
http://luxefashion.us/44-hoodies-size26.html surgical clothes [url=http://luxefashion.us/richmond-v-neck-t-shirt-for-women-black-item1918.html]teen designer wallpaper series[/url]
what is the size of the largest breast pics [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/brand-amoxil.htm]brand amoxil[/url] blood lining http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/elavil.htm
bacteria living on the skin of our hands [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/zaditor.htm]zaditor[/url] strep and yeast infection [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/zocor.htm ]buying prescription drugs over internet [/url] symptoms of urinary tract infection
women increased breast risk weight [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/erektile-dysfunktion.htm]erektile dysfunktion[/url] japanese orgasm games http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/hypnotherapy.htm
stimulation techniques for the penis [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/artritis.htm]artritis[/url] smoking hot jamie [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/aciphex.htm ]tea austin [/url] inproving penile health
transit shoes http://luxefashion.us/light-blue-women-color58.html womens stylish wide width shoes [url=http://luxefashion.us/?action=products&product_id=2341]plus sizedesigner clothes[/url] shoes for heel spur
http://luxefashion.us/napapijri-women-brand62.html wallstreet clothes [url=http://luxefashion.us/dolce-amp-gabbana-stylish-zip-jacket-black--item1270.html]lauren green[/url]
factors in post meal glucose numbers in diabetes [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/w.htm]Order Cheap Generic Drugs[/url] average cholesterol levels http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/risperdal.htm
heart apnea [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/cytoxan.htm]cytoxan[/url] first blood ii knife [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/terms.htm ]harvest moon mineral town codes [/url] collie health testing group
diet to lower blood sugar [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/arimidex.htm]arimidex[/url] antibiotic strep throat http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/zithromax.htm
properties of muscle [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/y.htm]medications without a prescription[/url] do all women with breast cancer have the breast cancer gene [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/zerit.htm ]mineral oil spill clean up [/url] palm medical freeware
kiddy fashion company http://www.thefashionhouse.us/-tank-tops-roberto-cavalli-category76.html china clothes holesell [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/52-long-sleeve-tops-size3.html]how to get bicycle chain greace out of clothes[/url] wide shoes for females
http://www.thefashionhouse.us/blue-pink-jeans-cut-pants-color239.html fashion design schools [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/42-women-size23.html]gucci black hobo[/url]
paul laurence dunbar http://luxefashion.us/women-page8.html pictures of mens and womens shoes from the medieval times [url=http://luxefashion.us/must-de-cartier-leather-back-pack-item824.html]home business web site designer[/url] lauren swan
http://luxefashion.us/gucci-classic-luxury-dressy-shirt-for-men-white-item2446.html fashion forecasting [url=http://luxefashion.us/armani-dressy-tops-brand8.html]cohens fashion optical nhyc[/url]
define clothes http://luxefashion.us/dark-brown-color29.html ballet shoes best [url=http://luxefashion.us/casual-shirts-page2.html]why is stock photography used in the fashion industry[/url] ross clothes
http://luxefashion.us/shirts-armani-category1.html verde international shoes [url=http://luxefashion.us/beach-wear-women-category82.html]patrick ewing basketball shoes[/url]
trash to fashion http://www.thefashionhouse.us/men-sport-type1.html workout clothes [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/grey-navy-blue-color74.html]lauren hastings[/url] web site designer michigan
http://www.thefashionhouse.us/yellow-roberto-cavalli-color44.html ecko shoes [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/?action=products&product_id=1306]fashion makeover teen[/url]
britany spears clothes change http://luxefashion.us/versace-casual-jacket-for-women-grey-item14.html david backhouse fashion [url=http://luxefashion.us/black-light-grey-color235.html]chinese brand infant shoes[/url] fake designer handbags for low prices
http://luxefashion.us/?action=products&product_id=1894 quilt designer ii sewing machine price [url=http://luxefashion.us/?action=products&product_id=2228]yves saint laurent shoes[/url]
http://xwv.in/ketoconazole/ketoconazole/sertraline/interaction
[url=http://xwv.in/kamagra/kamagra/w/zelu]drug profile morphine[/url] nashua adult west medicine [url=http://xwv.in/linezolid/linezolid/urinary/tract/infection/staph/aureus]linezolid urinary tract infection staph aureus[/url]
keith evans drugs http://xwv.in/pain-relief/pain/relief/measures
[url=http://xwv.in/naltrexone]find non prescription drugs[/url] cvs pharmacy in atlanta [url=http://xwv.in/lisinopril/lisinopril/watson/10/mg]lisinopril watson 10 mg[/url]
acheiving unconciousness using otc drugs http://xwv.in/ketoconazole/ketoconazole/in/vitro/cytotoxicity
[url=http://xwv.in/osteoporosis/medication/for/treating/osteoporosis]cialis no rx next day[/url] directions of how to pass a drug test [url=http://xwv.in/pain-relief/ultrasound/pain/relief/work]ultrasound pain relief work[/url] weezer we are all on drugs lyrics [url=http://xwv.in/loratadine/info/on/loratadine]info on loratadine[/url]
lottery numbers illinois http://xwn.in/bingo_pay-to-play-bingo free casino bonuses play blackjack free
[url=http://xwn.in/online-casino_mount-airy-casino-opening-date]soccer spread betting[/url] gambling bonus poker gambling [url=http://xwn.in/casino-playing-cards_playing-cards-china]playing cards china[/url]
harrahs casino kansas city http://xwn.in/jackpot_victory-motorcycle-usa-jackpot
[url=http://xwn.in/online-casinos_parker-arizona-casinos]mount whitney lottery application[/url] madison wi casino [url=http://xwn.in/jokers_jokers-tattooing-and-piercing]jokers tattooing and piercing[/url]
paddy carson cambodia lottery http://xwn.in/online-casino_sams-town-casino new port richey gambling [url=http://xwn.in/gambling-online_financial-dilemma-from-gambling]financial dilemma from gambling[/url]
national lottery website http://wqm.in/betting_nfl-betting-odds-major-newspapers blackjack spillet
[url=http://wqm.in/roulette_analyzing-the-roulette-wheel-with-eye]smoke free gambling in laughlin[/url] massachusetts mega millions lottery [url=http://wqm.in/jackpot_free-jackpot-party-downloads]free jackpot party downloads[/url]
what if i win the lottery http://wqm.in/jokers_jokers-bar-grill
[url=http://wqm.in/poker-online_poker-decks]gaming casino law books[/url] planet hollywood casino and resort [url=http://wqm.in/lottery_all-wining-numbers-for-virginia-lottery-raffle]all wining numbers for virginia lottery raffle[/url]
lucky numbers chloroform sister redhead lottery http://wqm.in/bingo_bingo-guide groveton jackpot show [url=http://wqm.in/bingo_bingo-bed-toy]bingo bed toy[/url]
free movie asian [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_terror_at_baxter_u/]terror at baxter u[/url] transformers movie beginning youtube http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_last_hour/ movie thearers
the island princess the movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_sea_scouts/]sea scouts[/url] george clooney movie directing http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_une_vraie_jeune_fille/ the movie truman
watch free movie online class [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_birthday_girl/]birthday girl[/url] adult black movie review
wife movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_jake_s_booty_call/]jake s booty call[/url] best movie all time http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_out_of_the_blue/ cartoon movie about australia
mame movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_i_love_you_man/]i love you man[/url] wicked temptations the movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_perfect_man/ men like the movie dirty dancing
resident evil 3 2007 movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_masquerade_70/]masquerade 70[/url] new jurassic park movie http://moviestrawberry.com/hqmoviesbyyear/year_2009_high-quality-movies/?page=13 antievolution movie
how to join movie clips into one [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_last_outpost/]the last outpost[/url] london movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_last_exit_to_brooklyn/ movie new releases september
spanking mags movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_war_wolves/]war wolves[/url] cay movie
james bond films movie villains [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_coffin/]the coffin[/url] walking nude mature movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_phantoms_70/ japanese video magazine movie free
ninja gaiden 2 movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_one_night_at_mccools/]one night at mccools[/url] red porn free full movie downloads http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_super_sucker/ you never pleased me movie line
sweet peaches movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_spirits_among_us/]spirits among us[/url] jackass movie clips http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_winnie_the_pooh_seasons_of_giving/ stink of flesh the movie
naruto shippuden movie stream [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_11_11/]11 11[/url] star city movie pittsburgh http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_stealing_harvard/ nude movie vids
green goblin tips on fighting for spider man the movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_australia/]australia[/url] movie listings moncton
inuyasha the movie downloads [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_linewatch/]linewatch[/url] bdsm free movie galleries http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_richard_pryor_live_on_the_sunset_strip/ creating 3d animated movie
seven the movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_manhattan_melodrama/]manhattan melodrama[/url] nochnoi dozer movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_funny_farm/ alphabetical comedy movie list
Post a Comment